🎵 "I'm gonna be bold enough to lay it on the line."
I couldn’t sing the high notes of this song when I first wrote it. I was living in Santa Monica in 2015 going in and out of surgeries & small procedures for my swollen medical master tumor frog face thing. They had cut and reconstructed a nerve in my smile in one of those procedures so on top of everything I was healing from on the inside, now I had to retrain my smile and strengthen the muscles around my mouth so that the right side of my lips would go up when I was happy.
I don’t think I had strength when I wrote this song, it was more of a prayer for strength than a declaration of it. I knew there had to be more to life and what I was experiencing, but I had no idea what to expect or how to get to the other side of what felt like an endless pursuit of trying to figure out how to fix everything.
In 2019, I was ‘bold enough to lay it on the line,’ when I decided to give up all my ways of trying to heal and receive THE ONLY WAY of healing. It all sounds like a dramatic exaggeration to say “Jesus healed my pain,” but I am not lying when just a few months after getting baptized in the Pacific Ocean my face swelling went away AND the scar tissue from the surgeries went away too! Then all my crazy PTSD symptoms went away and it was like the words from this song finally found their fullest, truest expression in my life.
I can’t tell you I always knew this would happen, but I can say that the words of the bridge were somewhat of an anthem to me my entire life: “Every time I think I should give up I keep on moving, I keep believing, saying, someday when this fight is over I’ll know I’ve kept my head up, gotta keep my head up.”
Link to "Free" Music & Lyrics (coming soon)
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